Encore
by Dhampir72
Summary: AU The finale was so brilliant, there just had to be one more show. Allen and Lavi are reunited after three years of being apart. Sequel to Finale. Chapter 4 up! Lavi/Allen. M in last chapter
1. Act I, Scene I

**Title**: Encore

**Summary**: AU The finale was so brilliant, there just had to be one more show. Allen and Lavi are reunited after three years of being apart. Sequel to **Finale**. Lavi/Allen.

**Genre**: Romance/Angst

**Rating**: PG-13/M in the last chapter.

**Content**: Two guys in love, kissing, groping, doing it, all that jazz.

**Author's Note**: Because it was requested ages ago, here's the sequel to Finale.

**pqpq**

Lavi hadn't seen him in three years. Had it really been that long? Yes. It had been. Lavi knew, because Lavi remembered. He remembered coming home after graduation—after he and Allen had made love so beautifully together—after the family dinner that had actually gone well...Allen was sitting on the porch, looking sad and distressed, his face almost as white as his unusual hair color. That had worried Lavi and even more so when Allen started crying, telling him that he was leaving. For how long, he didn't know, but he was leaving. And Lavi could remember exactly how sweet Allen smelled when he hugged him and recall just how much Allen had been shaking and clinging to him like the world was going to throw him off and Lavi was his only lifeline.

"I thought...we'd at least have a summer..." Allen had cried softly against his shoulder.

The redhead read a lot, but didn't know exactly what "heartbreak" was until Allen left that day. It was raining—how appropriate—as Allen got into his father's car. Lavi didn't know exactly what it felt like to have his "heart crawl into his throat" until he watched them drive away. Allen was looking at him through the glass like something broken and sad. His hand was pressed against the fogging glass in a motion of longing and goodbye.

Lavi didn't even know he was crying until that car was out of sight. Had he been crying the whole time? He didn't know. But he knew that he stood on his porch for a long time, looking out on the street, hoping that Allen would come back. The storm was awful and even when the sun finally came out a few days later, it wasn't shining as brightly as it could have.

The summer was long and painful. Lavi wrote letters and emails everyday, hoping for some response. Only the first two weeks or so after Allen's departure did he hear from his...from Allen. He told Lavi about their family problems and that they had to stay in a city a few states away while one of his relatives wasted away from cancer. Allen called a few times, but it was so upsetting that they were separated that more often than not, one of them was crying on their end. It worried Lavi that he cared enough to cry like that. But every day that Allen was gone was a day that felt...wasted somehow.

Then after those first two weeks, the letters and emails back and forth stopped. Allen's phone no longer rang when Lavi called. He kept writing, though, with the hope that maybe Allen was just busy and that maybe one of his notes would prompt him to write back. But there was nothing. Lavi didn't want to think that Allen had moved on, but he didn't send as many letters. He wrote more, but didn't send them, keeping them in a box beneath his bed.

That box turned into two boxes as the years went on. Then three. Lavi was in college, going into his fourth year after summer ended. People called him stupid (those who knew of his love for another man) for waiting so long. They told him to move on. Lavi tried. He tried with several people he met in college. A girl or two, a few other men. But there was nothing there. Nothing as passionate and understanding as he and Allen had had.

So Lavi resigned himself to his studies at the university in his hometown. He was smart enough to go anywhere he wanted, but had stayed in the area. He told himself that it was because he was familiar and comfortable with the town, but he wondered if it had anything to do with the hope that if Allen ever came back, he'd be able to find him.

A year or so after Allen had left, Lavi's grandfather—his only real family—passed away and Lavi struggled to keep the house. Although it had been willed to him, he couldn't afford it and was forced to sell the property. With the money, Lavi guiltily bought an apartment near the college and resumed life. The boxes full of letters still stayed under his bed. The third slowly was being filled up with a multitude of objects, such as photographs, paintings, poetry, and novel ideas. All were dedicated to Allen in some way. And all of them went into that box under the bed. He never looked at them again after they were locked away.

Three years. This summer would begin the fourth year without Allen. It really wasn't healthy to continue on in this way of life, Lavi knew. But he just...couldn't let go.

And then one day, all the waiting paid off.

It was raining, so much like the day that Allen had left, and Lavi was on his way to work when something caught his eye. Standing in the parking lot of the apartment building, there was someone standing there out in the rain with no umbrella. The only reason Lavi had looked and felt his heart almost stop for a minute was the color of that person's hair. It reminded him of Allen's hair, because it was a certain shade that so many people tried to mimic, but could never actually achieve. And Lavi remembered how soft it had been to run his fingers through after they had laid together when they were done making love. And how they had kissed...

He jerked his eyes away from the person guiltily and walked down the stairs to head to his job. The only way he could not look at that person was to keep his gaze focused on his feet. _Left, right, left, right, avoid the big puddles...left, right, left, right, don't think about Allen or his soft hair or his warm hands or those loving eyes of his_ or the way he could hear Allen saying his name...Lavi wished he could stop the scenes playing in his mind because they were making it hard to breathe and think and move and just _keep going_...what had happened to make it all go so wrong?

Lavi could hear Allen's voice again, calling him. He chalked it up to his memories, trying to ignore the way he could see Allen's sad expression behind the raindrops streaming down the foggy glass with his hand pressed up against it like "goodbye" and the way that just before that Allen had been in his arms crying not wanting to leave but there was nothing either of them could do about it...

"Lavi!"

Looking up at the sound of his name, Lavi tried to arrange his features into something not so depressing in case it was someone he knew. But there was no one around, except for that person in the parking lot who had no umbrella and hair just like...

"Al..len...?"

It had to be a cruel joke. Maybe he was sick and hallucinating. It couldn't be Allen...it couldn't be that person he had missed for so long. Had he finally come back? Had...Lavi's heart lifted as he took a few hesitant steps toward the person. His vision was bad, it always had been, and contacts never seemed to do what his glasses could. And wearing said contacts at that moment, Lavi couldn't see the person's face even as he walked toward them, his hopes building higher and higher by the second.

"Allen...?" he asked a little louder, hoping his voice would carry that far and not shake and not show how goddamn _hopeful_ he was that it was who he'd been wanting to see and hold and _love _for so long now.

The person began running towards him and that was when he knew. He knew that it was Allen, just from the way that he felt against Lavi's chest and that scent that he had almost forgotten over the years. His arms were around Allen before he could register what was happening, or that he had dropped his umbrella and they were both getting soaked, but in that moment it didn't matter.

"I-Is it really you?" Lavi asked, tightening his hold on Allen because even if it was a dream, he wanted to hold on to it as long as he could.

The response was the pair of arms around him tightening back and Lavi could hear and feel soft sobs coming from the boy in his arms.

"Y-Yes...it's me..." was the reply.

Allen had pulled back slightly so that he could look up at Lavi. Up close, Lavi could see that it was Allen and that those beautiful bluish gray eyes of his were crying. Gently, Lavi wiped some of them away with his thumb, rubbing over an indented mark on Allen's cold cheek. He must have made a strange face, because Allen shook his head and smiled weakly.

"I'll tell you everything later...I'm so sorry..." Allen said, raising himself to his tiptoes so that he could put his arms around Lavi's shoulders to bury his nose in the redhead's neck.

Lavi pulled him close and nodded, kissing Allen's wet temple. This made the smaller of the two tilt his head back slightly to look up at Lavi, and he couldn't help himself from kissing Allen. At first, Lavi thought maybe he had made the wrong decision because Allen did not respond. But soon they were locked in such a passionate embrace of lips and limbs that Lavi ceased to pursue that previous thought.

"C'mon...let's go inside..." Lavi said, breathless when they parted; Allen nodded.

Not wanting to let go of Allen just yet, Lavi kept his arm firmly around him, picking up his umbrella as he led the silver-haired boy back to his apartment. Once they were inside, their shoes were removed and Lavi's bag was dropped on the floor, going to work forgotten. Lavi hadn't been pushed away the first time, so he leaned in for another kiss, this one soft with a relieved sigh from both of them. Gently, Lavi cupped Allen's cheeks as they enjoyed the contact of their lips pressed against one another.

"Do you want to take a hot shower? You're cold..." Lavi said, looking a little worriedly at Allen's wet clothes and hair, his hand resting on his frigid cheek.

Allen looped his arms around Lavi's shoulders and the redhead couldn't describe his expression. It was somewhere between that distressed and longing face that Allen had had that day he left and something else that Lavi thought could have been arousal. But then it was broken, replaced by embarrassment and his arms fell from Lavi's shoulders.

"Y-Yeah...if it's not too much trouble," Allen answered, looking down; Lavi took his hands, wondering why he was wearing gloves in the summer, but decided not to ask.

"It's not so don't worry about it, c'mon," he said, leading Allen towards the bathroom by his hand. "There are some towels in there and I'll go find something for you to wear."

"Something with long sleeves, if that's okay?" Allen requested; Lavi found it odd, but didn't question it.

"All right. I'll find something," Lavi answered as he moved to leave, but was stopped when he felt Allen's hand on his arm.

"You're wet too..." Allen said, looking at his clothes. "Do you want to..."

Lavi was unsure as to what Allen was insinuating, so decided to just decline all offers, no matter what it might have been, no matter how much he wanted to just _be_ with Allen after waiting so long to get him back...

"I'm all right. You need one though," Lavi said, leaning forward to gently kiss his forehead before leaving Allen alone.

He went and changed into some sweats and socks, not bothering with a shirt just yet. Also, he removed his contacts and put his wretched glasses back on. He figured it would be a good thing, though, as the last time he and Allen had seen each other, Lavi had still worn the wire-rimmed frames.

Then Lavi found a black, long sleeved shirt for Allen to wear and another pair of comfortable pants and some boxers and socks as well. Folding them up, Lavi brought them to the bathroom and when he heard that the shower was still running, quickly cracked the door and set the clothes on the edge of the sink.

Lavi headed into the kitchen after that, deciding to cook. He never did except when he had the rare company over. There was just something so lonely about cooking for himself that he didn't bother. But now...he wasn't and Lavi couldn't stop smiling or humming to himself. It had been a long time since he felt so...happy.

Not wanting to think about how long the happiness would last, and spent his energies focusing on making Allen's favorite meal: French toast. It was such a strange thing, but Lavi had ended up making it one time after Allen had crashed at his place and ever since then, every time Allen had come over, Lavi had made French toast.

He was in the middle of soaking some bread and putting it into the pan when he heard Allen walk in and looked up with a little smile.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey," was Allen's reply, although he was slightly red.

Lavi then realized that he forgot to put a shirt on before cooking and suddenly felt a little self-conscious.

"Sorry, I'm used to not wearing a shirt around the house during the summer," Lavi explained as he flipped the bread over.

"It's okay," Allen answered, avoiding his eyes, cheeks still slightly pink.

With the better light and his glasses on, Lavi could see Allen much better. There was something strange on the left side of his face, like a cut that went through his eye and down his cheek. It was very faint, but Lavi could see that it must have been a deep gash at one point. But other than that, Allen looked exactly the same, although maybe a little older and his hair a little longer, his eyes just a little sadder…

"I-I'm, um…making French toast," Lavi said, indicating the kitchen.

Allen smiled and Lavi felt his heart actually _flutter_ a little, realizing all in a rush how much he missed that smile.

"My favorite," he replied, still smiling, leaning on the counter in front of him. "Just like old times."

"Just like old times," Lavi repeated, smiling a little himself.

Silence took over them, but it wasn't bad. It was more like a comfortable one, although Lavi wanted nothing more than to just hear Allen's voice, this was nice too. Just Allen's presence nearby was enough to calm him. He gave Allen the first few pieces and a glass of orange juice.

"So…" Lavi said, once Allen started to eat and he started to cook again. "What…what's been going on?"

He made sure that Allen had food while he asked, giving him time to chew and think about his answers if he needed to. Allen readily used this method, taking a large bite of French toast, then a large swig of orange juice. When there was nothing else he could procrastinate with, Allen opted for silence, looking down at his plate with an intense look on his face.

"You…don't have to tell me, if you don't want to…" Lavi offered, when it looked like Allen really wasn't going to say anything at all.

"No, that's not it…" Allen said, poking at his breakfast, an expression of deep concentration on his face.

"Well, you don't have to tell me _now_ if you don't want to…" Lavi clarified, not wanting to make Allen uncomfortable, or make it seem like he was being interrogated. "I mean…I've been waiting three years, what's a few more days gonna do?"

Allen's face looked tortured and Lavi hung his head guiltily.

"I just…want to know what you've been doing...all this time…" Lavi sighed.

Allen looked up at Lavi, making him stop his cooking for a moment, his eyes held to that stare like a magnet. Those beautiful lips moved, but no sound came out. Then he tried again.

"You…wrote to me," Allen said, with a ghost of a smile on his lips.

"Everyday," Lavi answered, something tugging in his chest, making him look down. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…you probably…moved on ages ago…"

"Don't be sorry. I'm glad you did…" said Allen, his eyes looking rather wet. "I'm sorry I didn't write back…"

"I-It's okay!" Lavi replied, anything to keep Allen from crying, because it just _hurt_ to watch and even more so to _cause_. "I…I managed…"

It was an understatement; he just barely managed to _function_ when he had no idea what happened to Allen, being ignored by the person he loved so much…

"I'm sorry…" Allen said again, rubbing at his eyes. "I-I want you to know that I didn't move on. I wasn't…ignoring you. I didn't not reply because I _wanted_ to."

Lavi's eyes were drawn to Allen's again, that beautiful shade of blue-gray that he adored so much.

"What…happened then?" Lavi asked, his voice slightly choked.

There was a moment of silence that seemed to stretch on forever, Lavi too afraid to move in case he broke it, yet wanting it to break so he could find out. Find out why, _why_ he had held on for so long and was it really _worth _it? He was holding still, not breathing, waiting. Then after what felt like an ungodly unfair amount of time, Allen finally spoke again.

"I…was in an accident," he replied with a shaky breath. "And I didn't wake up until a few months ago."

**pqpq**

First chapter of your (most likely) three chapter story. Is everyone liking it so far? I hope so, because you all wanted the sequel, and this is it. It's going to be very cute and lovely, I know it. If you like this, I suggest watching or favoriting it, because the rating **is going to go up to M** soon and will not appear on the main page after that. Just a heads up :P

Reviews, criticism, comments of any kind?

**Dhampir72**


	2. Act I, Scene II

**Author's Note**: A special thanks to **Sweet Neurose** for catching my slipups when I deviated between "Lavi" and "Rabi" (I should not be RPing when I'm writing, because I switch it around too much…). Also a big thanks to **ritachi** who gave me some awesome reviews on this story and a few others. Mental love and cookies to you. And, of course, to everyone else, thanks for all the nice reviews! Love you guys :D

Not proofread. Just a warning.

**pqpq**

"_I…was in an accident," he replied with a shaky breath. "And I didn't wake up until a few months ago."_

Lavi paled slightly and looked like the wind had been knocked out of him after Allen said that, and the silver-haired boy felt badly about it.

"I was in a coma for three years," Allen clarified, taking a breath, looking away.

"A…coma…?" Lavi repeated; Allen nodded. "B-But how? When? What happened?"

"It was only after the first few weeks we were gone," Allen explained, pushing his half-eaten French toast around on his plate. "Do you have any syrup?"

Lavi looked thrown off for a minute at the change of subject, but quickly nodded and turned around to get said item out of the fridge. While his back was turned, Allen allowed his eyes to roam over Lavi's bare upper body, admiring the muscular shape of his shoulders and the lean middle and the perfect groove of his spine that disappeared into his—Allen looked away, slightly flushed, trying to push away the images of the two of them in his mind. It felt like that was the only thing he dreamed about while in his coma, the last time they were together: the feel of those arms around him, lips moving down his body, Lavi _inside_ of him…

"Are you all right?" Lavi asked, his voice and the syrup being set on the counter waking him from his reminiscing.

"F-Fine," Allen replied quickly, taking the bottle and pouring some of the sweet liquid onto his breakfast.

"Well, you go ahead and eat. We'll talk about…all of this when we're done, okay?" Lavi offered, smiling at Allen.

He smiled back, his heart warmed by the sight of something that was so familiar; something that hadn't changed during the years he had been so obliviously sleeping. And Allen was so _thankful_ for it. If Lavi's smile hadn't changed and his understanding nature hadn't and he really _had_ waited all these years for Allen to come back then maybe…just maybe…

The phone rang and Allen looked up, catching Lavi jerking his gaze away at the last minute while he reached for the portable phone on the counter between them. He looked at the caller ID for a second and then held up a finger to his lips as in _shhh_.

"Hel…lo?" he asked, his voice cracking and tired sounding.

There was some blabbing on the other end and Lavi made a face.

"I'm…sorry. I think…I got that flu…puked all night…" Lavi said pathetically.

More blabbing and Allen ate more of his breakfast, snagging another piece of French toast as Lavi lied his soul out to someone the silver-haired boy presumed to be his boss.

"I'll…be okay…tomorrow…" he continued. "O..kay…bye…"

Hanging up, Lavi put the phone down on the cradle and sighed. Allen watched him with open curiosity.

"My manager," Lavi explained, sounding somewhat embarrassed. "He's, well, you know. I didn't come into work so…"

Allen instantly felt guilty.

"I-I'm sorry I kept you from work," Allen said.

But Lavi just smiled that all-too-familiar and comfortable smile, setting Allen's shoulders at ease. He remembered how that smile used to make everything okay, no matter what and no matter how many times Allen crawled through his window at night after he had had a bad dream. Lavi's smile always scared the demons away, was always warm, happy, and….understanding. Allen hoped that last part really _had_ remained, nervously touching his arm under the table.

"It's all right, really," Lavi replied. "Besides, I've been waiting for you for so long. I…well, going to work seems trivial."

Allen felt the heat in his face rise a little, complimented. Finishing his breakfast in silence, Allen watched as Lavi cleaned the kitchen, putting the food onto plates to cool. He didn't take any for himself.

"Aren't you going to eat?" Allen asked.

"Nah, I kinda…wanna talk, if that's okay?" he answered, but looked at Allen's cleaned plate. "Do you want some more?"

"No, I'm full, thanks," Allen said and Lavi took his plate to put it in the sink behind him.

Then the lights were shut out and Lavi left the kitchen, coming around the counter so he was beside Allen. He suddenly felt like they were just teenagers again, so awkward and unsure. Allen wasn't sure what to do, except to stand and walk over to the couch as Lavi left and then reappeared wearing a t-shirt.

"You…um, have a nice apartment," Allen said, trying at conversation.

And it was: nicely painted warm colors, a few house plants, framed photographs on the walls, books on handsome shelves.

"Thanks," Lavi said, although his expression was slightly guilty. "I had to sell the old house because I couldn't afford it. Lots of good memories in that place and…a few bad ones too…"

Allen looked down and away. He had always felt horrible for doing that to Lavi. It wasn't even a few hours after they had _his hands on Allen's body, touching, caressing so gently, so lovingly in the dark of that comfortable place that smelled like memories and tears and laughter_ when Allen had to tell him he was leaving. Even while he slept, unknowingly for how _long_ it had been, Allen had relived it all over again, over and over and over again and the way he could see Lavi's tortured face as they drove away in the rain…

"I'm sorry," Lavi said, seeing something in Allen's expression that he had unknowingly let leak through. "Forget I said that…"

They sat down on the couch, Lavi on one end, Allen on the other. The silver-haired boy could see how Lavi was trying to be casual, keep his distance, not wanting to rush anything. On one hand he was grateful, but on the other, all he wanted were those arms around him again and the feel of Lavi's warmth against his body.

"It's my fault. I'm sorry," Allen said, pulling his knees to his chest.

He smelled the clothes on him. They smelled like Lavi; like warm summer days and spring forests along with cool nights _with_ _warm arms around him, holding him like he was never going to let go as they were moving, moving, moving together in that dark space where time had stopped for them for just a minute_ and something like a spice Allen had no name for.

"It's not your fault," Lavi answered quietly, moving closer but still out of arms reach from Allen.

"I should have told him _no_. I'm so sorry I didn't stay…" Allen continued, shaking his head.

"It's not your fault," Lavi repeated, a little closer this time.

"I thought…" Allen sighed, fighting tears, not looking up at Lavi because he was able to _feel_ him there and that was all he needed. "I thought it would just be for the summer and then we'd come back. I didn't know…"

"I know. I know you didn't…" Lavi said, so close that Allen could practically feel his warmth.

God, Allen wanted Lavi's arms around him again. Why wasn't Lavi touching him? Was he afraid to? Was he afraid Allen didn't want him to?

"And then…that accident…" Allen murmured, wiping his eyes.

"Is that where…?" Lavi began to ask, but trailed off.

Allen knew what he was looking at and turned his face away. He was ashamed of the scar, among other things.

"Yeah…" Allen answered after a minute. "The glass from the windshield…"

"Allen…"

Finally, _finally_ Lavi's arm was around him and Allen was leaning into him. It was just like three years ago, which didn't feel that long ago to Allen, but it must have to Lavi. It was the same way that Allen had curled against Lavi and cried because he had to leave. And Lavi's arms were still strong and warm and so supportive around him.

"I hit my head; I don't remember anything about it," Allen said after a minute. "Mana…Mana was killed on impact…"

Allen's voice choked up when he mentioned his adoptive father and Lavi's arms were even warmer and stronger around him than ever.

"My grandfather…the one that we went to go be with in the first place…well, he died and my grandma died after him," Allen explained, feeling strong enough to continue. "All the…letters you sent went to our post office box. And when I woke up…"

Allen managed to clear the tears from his eyes enough so that when he looked up at Lavi he didn't look so blurry.

"All the letters…you sent me so many letters…and a card for each birthday too…"

Lavi was looking away awkwardly, as if the years that Allen couldn't remember were weighing heavily on him.

"Every one…" he said quietly after a moment.

"I had to come back," Allen said, hiding his face again, only this time out of embarrassment. "I missed you and…why would you keep writing to me if you didn't…?"

"But I _do_."

A quiet settled over them, in which Allen continued to hide and Lavi was just silent with warm arms enveloping the younger boy like something _safe_. He could hear the rain outside. It didn't sound as terrible as the day that so vividly remained in Allen's mind, but now a comfortable tattoo that combined with the heat of Lavi's body around him to almost lull him into sleep.

"There's…something else…I haven't told you…" Allen said, taking a breath, hoping for that understanding kindness that normally radiated from Lavi.

Reluctantly, Allen moved away from Lavi, sitting up to face him. He was glad to see that Lavi hadn't changed very much since they had parted. The red hair was still as unruly as ever, maybe somewhat longer now, almost down to his shoulders. Allen still couldn't name the color of his eyes, but settled somewhere around emerald, because it seemed appropriate. He wished Lavi's eyes didn't look so _old_.

"When I was…in the accident…" Allen began, slowly unbuttoning the dark shirt he wore. "I got hurt worse than…worse than you'd think."

Lavi was watching him because Allen could feel his gaze on him, flushing slightly, thinking of the last time they had been like this, _their lips pressed together, hands touching, caressing, loving in the red light of the exit sign that was like a glowing ember of light in the dark of the backstage_ only it had been years since then. Even if it only felt like a few months to Allen, it had been a few _years_ for Lavi. And even so, then it had been a passionate exchange. This time…it was something much different.

Before Lavi could ask what Allen was talking about, the younger boy pulled off his gloves, the right as normal as it always had been, the left taking refuge inside the baggy sleeve. Allen didn't want to show him, but it wasn't _fair_ that Lavi had to wait so long and stay so faithful and remain so _committed_ without knowing about…

Allen took a deep breath, letting the shirt fall from his shoulders, down his arms. Pulling his hands free from it, Allen sat shirtless before Lavi, but felt no arousal or eroticism about it. It was _painful_ almost, having to have someone _look_ at it.

"W…What happened?" Lavi asked, his voice small, expression unknown as Allen still wouldn't look at him.

The left arm and shoulder of Allen's body were completely discolored a dark rose and slightly disfigured in the sense that the joints of the fingers and the elbow looked swollen and bulging. Allen himself had gotten sick upon seeing it for the first time, disgusted that the limb could be so ugly.

"I was…burned," Allen replied quietly. "They did their best, but…"

He hastily pulled the shirt over himself to cover the atrocity.

"I-I just wanted you to know…see it…before you go saying that you…still want me…" Allen finished.

Keeping his head bowed, Allen waited quietly for the reply, not wanting to look at Lavi. Allen didn't think he'd be able to live with seeing rejection on Lavi's face. But after a long moment of stillness, Allen felt warmth on his hand, looking down to see Lavi's hand on top of his deformed left.

"I…my feelings haven't changed," Lavi said, breaking the stillness around them.

Without looking up, Allen could tell that Lavi was sincere; he could hear it in his voice, the voice that had whispered _Allen, Allen_ so sweetly.

"Thank you."

**pqpq**

There you go, all questions answered. Well, more than in the last chapter anyway. I was really stupid to say that this story was only going to be three chapters. You're looking at about four or five now. But never fear, they're actually written out all ready. I was going to post more in this chapter, but it felt done at that last line, so the next part will be posted in a few days.

All your reviews, comments, crits, favs, alerts and whatnot are super appreciated.

**Dhampir72**


	3. Act II, Scene I

**Author's Note**: Got a little disheartened during the last chapter, I have to admit. I'm sorry it was so boring; I'll do my best to not try to rush my stuff, especially when I'm at work and supposed to be working…And it's probably not a good idea, especially as I'm going to be bumping up that rating a bit by the next chapter :D

**Author's Apology**: I wanted to say that I am truly sorry to one of my best reviewers. This person gave me true feedback on my work, but after having a very long week (pulling double shifts at work, cats getting fleas, falling out of my friend's hammock and bruising my tailbone, the ceiling downstairs collapsing, etc) I just lashed out when I had no right to. **Ritachi**, I hope you can forgive my rudeness and continue to give me your honest critiques, if you're not too busy burning little voodoo dolls of me to read my work anymore o.o;

Once again, quickly proofread. Just as a warning...

**pqpq**

"_Thank you_."

Allen hadn't realized that he had been crying, but not out of sadness, fear, or rejection. It was happiness; happiness because Lavi really _did_ want him after all, despite his deformities and the length of time that Lavi had been left alone without knowing whether or not Allen even cared about him anymore. Then there were lips on his cheek and Allen's eyelashes fluttered closed, cheeks flushing slightly as Lavi kissed his tears away, so gently and tenderly, like the redhead was afraid he was going to break him.

After Lavi had kissed his tears away and held him for an immeasurable amount of time against his chest, Allen felt a little better, although it made him a little uncomfortable to have Lavi ask to touch his arm. It was the ugliest part of him and he didn't _want_ him to touch it. But he did, and with a look on his face that Allen couldn't describe. But disgust wasn't the emotion he saw there, and the silver-haired boy was glad for that.

"It doesn't…hurt, does it…?" he asked a little hesitantly, gentle, calloused fingers running along the red skin.

"N-No," Allen said, shaking his head, looking away.

"Can you…feel this?" Lavi asked, indicating the touching with a light fluttering of those digits against the flesh.

"Yes…" Allen replied, his words almost like a breath.

The nerves were still alive, some still repairing themselves, according to doctors, so Allen was very sensitive and could _feel_ Lavi touching him. And his body recognized the feeling of those fingers—_his fingers_—on him again, trembling a little at the touch, wanting more…Allen was flushed, images flashing through his mind while memories of such delicious pleasure coursed through his body.

"Are you okay?" Lavi's voice drew him out of the muddled pit of warmth and pleasure that Allen was falling into.

"F-Fine! Just…sensitive…" Allen was looking anywhere but Lavi's face.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Lavi said, and his warm hand was gone from the limb. "I didn't mean to hurt you…"

"No, it doesn't…hurt…" Allen tried to clarify, but words failed him.

Taking Lavi's hand in his, Allen placed it on his chest, directly over his hammering heart. The last time they had been this close—this intimate—they had been fueled by such a passion, such a fear of leaving behind something that they never realized had become such a big part of their lives. Their fear of being catapulted into something unknown had turned the indecisiveness, the worry, the nervousness, embarrassment, and everything into nothing at all except love and pleasure... But this time, Allen's cheeks were flushed, eyes adverted, wanting and hoping and yet fearing what might happen.

"It's just…been a long time…"

Allen had wanted it to sound vague, not wanting Lavi to know exactly what he meant; what he was thinking. About the two of them completely wrapped around one another _sweetly touching, moving, crying out in harmony together_ and partaking in that act again. But another part of him did want Lavi to know, so that he'd know just how much his body _desired_ him and how it was reacting to such a simple touch.

"I know…"

At Lavi's reply, Allen chanced a glance up at him and saw that the redhead was as perceptive as ever and had picked up on the meaning. One warm hand was pressed against Allen's chest. _Loving_. The other warm hand was on top of Allen's left, unflinchingly resting against the uneven flesh. _Accepting_. His gaze was steady, green eyes holding a heat that Allen could remember feeling on him before, but never actually seeing with his own two eyes, that last time too blinded by pleasure and the dim red lights surrounded by darkness. _Wanting_.

"Lavi…I…" Allen bit his lip, trying to keep his breathing under control and his heart from pounding so fast. "…want you…"

And suddenly they weren't on Lavi's couch anymore, but back in the old high-school auditorium, their lips coming together somewhat awkwardly, hands unsure of exactly where to go, but then as the kiss deepened, instinct and memories returned and everything became second nature again.

"Allen…"

The way Lavi sighed his name sent a shiver through Allen's body and he was soon eagerly pulling the older boy down on top of him. The way Allen's back hit the couch was just the same as when they were back on that prop bed backstage. Lavi felt just as he had then, only now maybe a little lighter and a little longer and his hands this time were steady and sure. Allen wondered if it was because he knew exactly what he wanted to touch because he had thought about it. In fact, Allen was pretty sure that was it, as he had entertained only those thoughts in the few months he had been awake…what had it been like for three years? Had the dreams been just as tantalizingly torturous to Lavi as they had been to Allen?

"L-Lavi…" Allen breathed, when they parted for a second for air.

But that was all he managed to get out, as his lips were soon busy once again and his throat too preoccupied with soft moans to be used for speech. Lavi's hands were touching him, so gently, again like Allen was something fragile, or maybe a dream he didn't want to wake from. But Allen would have none of it, not wanting to be treated so delicately, wanting it to be just like it was then: passionate _with hands pulling at their clothes in urgency, hot fingertips touching, stroking in all the right places…_

Allen lifted his hips to move against Lavi's, eliciting a sort of half-moan, half-whimper from the redhead.

"A…Allen," Lavi said, once Allen released his lower lip so that he could speak properly. "Maybe we…shouldn't…"

It took a lot of effort for Allen to open his eyes from where they had been so heavily closed, but he managed to do so despite the heat still lingering in his mind and body. The first thing he saw were Lavi's lips, a shade of red that complimented his hair nicely. Then he looked up a little further…

…and laughed.

"W-What's so funny?!"

But Allen was laughing too hard to answer. During their make-out session, Lavi's glasses had gotten fogged up and he looked absolutely ridiculous, but adorable because he was doing the same pouting face that had earned him a few homework quick-copies before class back in high school.

"Y-You look hilarious!" Allen gasped out.

"Whaddaya mean?" Lavi asked, tilting his head to the side.

"Oh, come on, can't you tell?" Allen asked, taking Lavi's glasses off to clean them for him.

Upon removing the frames, Allen then knew why Lavi hadn't noticed the condensation on his lenses. It made sense now, as Lavi's eyes were closed and remained that way.

"Why're your eyes closed?" Allen asked, wiping Lavi's glasses with his shirt.

Unlike the Lavi he remembered, this Lavi did not crack a joke or shrug it off like it was for some goofy reason. This Lavi's expression turned agonizingly sad, knees brought to his chest, making him look smaller. Allen was glad that Lavi's lids were shut tight, the anguish radiating from his body was clear enough without having to look into those eyes which were a color he still couldn't quite name.

"Because," was the reply, so softly spoken that Allen had to lean in to hear him properly; it must have been serious, because the redhead was normally so loud and boisterous.

"Because why?" Allen asked, moving closer to him so that their arms were resting against each other.

"Because…I'm so afraid…I'm going to wake up and all of this is just another dream," Lavi said, voice tortured with sadness and tainted by loneliness. "I don't know….if I'll be able to get up out of bed this time if that happens…"

"I'm real," Allen said, moving his arms around Lavi's shoulders; the shoulders that had been so strong earlier were now seeking comfort from _him_. "I'm not a dream, I promise."

He felt hands come to rest around on his back, Lavi hugging him in return, removing his nose from his knees and replacing it in the curve of Allen's neck, much like the way they had laid together afterwards in the auditorium _panting, sharing light caresses and loving kisses between them_…

"You _always_ say that…" Lavi sighed, voice sounding strained.

"How can I prove it to you? That I'm really here?" Allen asked, stroking Lavi's hair.

Lavi's hands gripped his shirt a little tighter, as if he wanted to keep Allen from evaporating on the spot.

"Stay," he breathed. "Please stay…don't leave me alone…again…"

Allen's arms were steadfast around him.

"I'm not leaving. I promise"

**pqpq**

Allen awoke late the next morning to an empty bed and a letter on his pillow. Sitting up, Allen looked around for Lavi, wondering where he had gone to. But the redhead was nowhere to be seen and that made Allen feel a little lonely. Although their sleeping in the same bed had not led to anything beyond kissing and light petting, Allen had still hoped Lavi would be there when he woke…

He didn't read the letter until after he had gone to the bathroom to take care of business, glad that Lavi had laid out a toothbrush for him still in plastic on the sink. After years in the hospital, Allen had very little belongings. All he had was a wallet with a nearly-expired license and a few photos inside said wallet. The clothes he had had were from the hospital, ugly and too big. He had left it on the bus on accident, but didn't care very much about it. The only other things he had carried with him were the letters he found in his post office box from Lavi. He had put them into a Ziploc bag and left them in the inside pocket of the coat he had been wearing, probably still draped over Lavi's washing machine to dry out.

As he brushed his teeth, Allen wondered what had happened to the rest of the belongings in the house he and Mana had left behind. Had they all been sold? Or maybe kept somewhere for safe keeping? He didn't dwell on it, thinking of Mana and that house and all those years ago becoming a little too painful. Cleaning up, Allen then returned to the bedroom to read the note.

_Allen,_

_Sorry I'm not here right now. I went into work early today. The boss said he'd let me off early, so I'll be home in the afternoon. If you'd like, we could go out and have lunch. I'll be home by one. See you then._

_Love, Lavi_

_P.S. There's food in the fridge if you get hungry in the meantime. If you want to use the computer, the password is "LAVEN"._

Allen put the letter back on the pillow and got up to get something to eat, settling on a bowl of cereal and some orange juice. While he ate, Allen logged into Lavi's computer and pulled up a Mozilla Firefox browser window. He was glad that not much had changed, so he was still able to use the internet without too much of a problem. The only thing that was truly hard was being able to type, as the fingers of his left hand didn't want to move that much, choosing to stay rather bunched up and stiff instead of fluidly typing like the right.

But he was able to find his email account and (after a long time of thinking about it) login with his old username and password. He had 732 unread messages. All were from the same address: . Allen didn't know who it was, but decided to start at the first page, the oldest page about 100 pages back. There was an email address he did know: Lavi's.

Clicking on the first one dated June 23, 2005, it read:

_Hey, Allen. What's up? You haven't picked up your phone. I've been texting you like crazy . I wanted to tell you that Krory and Eliade were looking for you. They were all "WTF? He's not coming to our party?!" I wanted to know if it was possible for you to get away for a weekend. Maybe I could come pick you up, in whereverthefuckville you might be. Their party is in two weeks and you should come if you can!_

_LAVI_

The one above it, a few days later.

_Hey…are you mad or something? Did I say something wrong? You're not answering so…I'm sure you're busy and everything, but… D: I know you're forgetful! Put the phone on the charger so at least you can text when you're running around and don't have time to email or call. Besides, Krory keeps hounding me about this party thing. I told him he was stupid to have it so late, but he had to go on that trip to see his relatives in Transylvania or whatever. LAME in my opinion, but it's a chance to get away. Like I said before, if driving is the problem, I'll come get you. is a lifesaver in that respect._

_LAVI_

Then a few from Krory and Eliade, and other people as well, Lavi's mixed in with them. He clicked on those.

_Okay, I'm just gonna say that I'm sorry for whatever I did. I really am. I wish you'd tell me what it is so I could apologize properly. I don't like this not talking to you. And it's not just about…you know, about what happened after graduation. You're my best friend and my first…well, you know…I don't want to bother you if you're, erm, avoiding me because of _that_ but I just wanted to know if you're mad for some reason…_

_LAVI 3_

The next one and the next one were the same, then in July, 2005:

_Went to Krory's party today. He's really upset you couldn't come. It was kind of boring, but you know how that goes. It was just me and him, Eliade, Lenalee, Yuu, and a few other people. We didn't end up doing anything extremely fun, most of the time messing around with Apples to Apples or Sardines, you know, the usual (of course, with Yuu refusing to play because he's a Jap - got slapped for that one). We played Ghost in the Graveyard too at night, and I thought Lenalee was gonna piss herself when I snuck up on her. It was funny, her face was like o.O _

_We missed you and wished you could have come. I hope that whatever you're doing you're happy, and if you ever get these emails, just reply somehow…_

_LAVI_

A few days later.

_Please, why aren't you answering? What did I do?! Can't you just tell me? Did you change your email? Are you away on vacation? Did you computer fall out of your room and crash down three stories? You gotta let me know. It's eating me up inside to not be able to talk to you. I don't want to be creepy, but I can't stop thinking about you. And I'm worrying everyday you don't answer. At this point, please just answer. Even if you're angry and the entire thing is in CAPSLOCK I don't care. I just…need to know you're still there to get rid of this bad feeling I've been having…_

_Lavi_

June, July, August…emails for almost everyday. All sounding somewhat the same, with a few things extra in them about what was going on in life back home. But all were sad, longing, worried…Allen felt his heart twinge at the thought of Lavi calling and calling his phone, texting him, emailing him, writing him. How disheartening was it to never receive a reply?

Then the email address changed to the first one that he had seen and that's when Allen found that it was Lavi under his new school address. The notes hadn't changed. Some were long, some were short, but they all asked Allen to write back. More than 100 pages of emails to him. Allen couldn't read them all; didn't want to read them all. He felt selfish, so easily able to not read them despite how painful it had probably been for Lavi to write each and every one of them.

By that time, his cereal was soggy and orange juice warm and Allen couldn't bring himself to eat no matter how hard he tried. He was just too disgusted with himself and too sad to do that. On some level, he felt he didn't deserve to even _be_ around Lavi anymore. But he promised he wouldn't leave and Allen didn't _want_ to leave, despite feeling that it just wasn't _fair _to Lavi to have to deal with him after everything he put him through…

He put the dishes in the sink and got up to walk around the apartment. It was still raining outside so Allen didn't open the windows, choosing instead to sit on the edge of the couch in almost misery, staring at the bookshelves across from him. There were novels stashed there, textbooks, biographies, everything anyone could possibly be interested in reading. But what caught Allen's attention was the spine of a thin book: "FOREST GREEN HIGH SCHOOL" it read in giant capital letters. 2005 was the year, the year he and Lavi had graduated. Getting up, Allen went to the shelf and pulled it down, opening it to look down at the faces of his old classmates. The senior pictures were beautiful and in color and Allen was soon looking down at Lavi's smiling face and then his own…

Flipping around inside it, Allen found the club pictures, spotting him and Lavi in the drama club picture, finding Lavi in the art club photo, seeing that their faces were also in the key club and National Honor Society pictures. People might have laughed at them, but they were smart and talented. Pictures had been taken of tech crews and he and Lavi were featured in the lights and sound booth, grinning at the camera. Beneath the photo, a caption read: _Lavi Bookman (lights) and Allen Walker (sound) are behind four years of successful shows in the drama department at Forest Green High"_. Someone had gone in and written with purple pen after that: "AND THEY'RE DROP DEAD SEXY TOO!" Probably Lenalee, making fun of them no doubt.

Allen smiled as he sifted through the memories, the school fundraisers, dances, everything. It was only eleven when he looked up from the book, setting it down on the couch. Lavi would be home soon, he thought with a smile coming to his face almost immediately at that prospect, despite his conflicting, guilty emotions. He went into the bedroom to make the bed, not wanting it to be a mess when he came home in case Lavi wanted to…

He blushed, unable to help it. He couldn't help that he just _wanted_ Lavi so bad. He had wanted Lavi back then and had wanted him for the years he unknowingly slept, only to wake still wanting him. And even though Allen had been scarred badly, Lavi still wanted _him_ and that made Allen want Lavi even more than before.

As he was making the bed, the letter Lavi had written fell to the ground by his feet. When Allen was done smoothing out the comforter, he leaned down to pick it up, his hand brushing against something bulky under the bed.

"A box?" Allen said aloud, pulling it out by the handle.

It came with some reluctance, bumping into another box, which Allen also pulled out. There was a third that he managed to drag out as well. Allen found it strange that Lavi would keep things under the bed like this, as Allen knew he had bad allergies and normally kept the underside of the bed free of things to keep it clean. But there were three large black boxes with smooth handles and clasps now sitting in front of him. Allen opened the one closest to him.

"Huh?"

The box was full of envelopes. They were all blank except for Allen's name in the recipient address bar. He picked up the one closest to him and opened it, finding a letter inside, dated back in February of 2006.

_Dear Allen,_

_I know we always made fun of it, but I can't help it. Valentine's Day is coming up and I thought of you. I even bought a rose for you only to realize once I got home that you're not here anymore. Huh, but maybe, just maybe you'll surprise me –winkwink- and come visit. Then I'll have a rose for you on Valentine's Day and we can make fun of it all you want._

_Now I feel stupid, haha. But I'm still thinking of you. Every day._

_Love, Lavi._

He picked up another, dated a few weeks later:

_Dear Allen,_

_Still haven't heard back from you. Hope everything's going well, wherever you are. I haven't got a lot of things to say, except the usual. I wish you'd write back, just so I know you're there. I don't care what you'd say at this point, even if it was to tell me to stop writing to you. I just want a response. Any response at all. Please. I miss you so much, Allen. I'm waiting. I haven't stopped waiting. I'll keep waiting until I hear word from you. And I'll keep writing until then._

_Love, Lavi_

He opened the other box to find more envelopes and pulled out the first he saw: one dated almost a year later:

_Dear Allen,_

_I know at this point that you're not going to write back. But I'm going to keep writing to you. You probably don't even read these anymore, but I can't help it. I just keep writing with the hope that one day you might open one and it'll make you pick up your pen and write back to me. Anything. At this point, even if you spelled my name wrong and told me that I was a fucking creep would be enough. I just…need to know. Please answer me. Just answer…_

_All my love, Lavi_

They were all like that, just like the emails. Allen opened as many as he could, reading them, the papers scattering on the floor as he read hastily. All letters of wanting, wishing, waiting. None had stamps or had been sealed. Lavi had given up in a way, and Allen didn't blame him. He was surprised Lavi had held onto him _this_ long to begin with. He felt like crying.

In the last box, there were the same letters, only there were also poems, pictures, photographs, songs…there was even a thick stack of papers that Allen found to be a manuscript for a book. He got as far as the dedication before setting it down.

_This book is dedicated to the one and only person who ever loved me._

_This book is dedicated to this one and only person in the hopes that they haven't forgotten me._

_This book is for you, my first and only love._

In script under the dedication, Lavi had written in that all-too-familiar scrawl: _To Allen Walker. I love you._ Allen put it back in the box, with all the pictures and poems and letters and everything…

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…" Allen cried, hiding his face in his knees, curling up among the remaining letters and empty envelopes. "I'm so sorry, Lavi…"

_I love you._

"I love you, too."

**pqpq**

Haha, that felt like such fail to me. Maybe people are right when they say I should just stop writing all together o.0

Pr0n in the next chapter, if that's incentive to keep reading?

Comments, crit, favs, love, cookies, or anything like that is super appreciated…

**Dhampir72**


	4. Act II, Scene II

**Author's Note**: Love, love, love to everyone who reviewed!

**Change In Rating**: Okay, so I've changed the rating of this story from PG-13 to M now. There is some smut toward the end, but it's clearly marked, so if you **don't want to read the porn** you can skip over it. You will not miss anything by not reading it, except some hot man sex. I won't be offended either way, just letting you know.

**pqpq**

Lavi had gotten off earlier than expected. It was probably because his boss was tired of him daydreaming or humming to himself. After all, people who worked in the dining halls at the university weren't supposed to be happy. They were supposed to be miserable because of the lame working conditions, long hours, cranky customers, and breaking machines in between it all. But nothing could dampen Lavi's spirits, even getting soaked washing dishes all morning from the breakfast rush. It was annoying his long-time friend, Yuu Kanda, who threatened to bludgeon him to death with a meat tenderizer if he didn't shut up. Eventually, his manager had come over and deduced that he was still feverish and delusional from his made-up flu and sent him home, Lavi all too happy to skip out of there to go home and see Allen.

His apartment was a little bit of a walk away, but in the rain, it made it longer than necessary. Lavi was forced into seeking shelter when it started pouring. He ended up in a Hot Ticket Video, browsing shelves of DVDs. His mind was wandering, wanting to go home, so oblivious to his surroundings that he didn't even realize where he was walking until he bumped into someone.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Wasn't looking where I was going…" Lavi said, glancing at the person in passing.

"Hey, that's all right. How've you been, Lavi? Haven't seen you around in a while."

Lavi cursed his luck. Why was it that of all the days to bump into someone, it had to be someone he knew? Had to be someone he once _dated_?

"I've been…kind of busy, Tyki," Lavi answered, trying not to look at the other man. Tyki had been one of his…attempts at going back to normal life. It had been in the last year that they went out a few times. Tyki was very sweet, and very much a gentleman. Lavi liked him, but more as a friend. There was just something about kissing anyone who wasn't Allen that just made it feel _wrong_.

"Yeah, I hear you. Finals were hard this year, huh?" Tyki asked, making small talk.

"A little," Lavi replied, just for conversation's sake, as he had found finals to not be that difficult at all. After all, he only had unlimited time being alone, so he might as well turn his energies towards studying, right? But Tyki wasn't that eager to let him go, talking to him about a multitude of different things to keep him there. Lavi tried to get away without seeming too impolite.

"You still won't give up on him, will you?" Tyki asked, when he realized that Lavi's attention was not completely on him.

"On who?" Lavi asked, unsure of who Tyki was talking about.

"On that guy. The one you're so hung up over," Tyki said, moving closer to Lavi. "You know…it isn't right that you've got to suffer…he's moved on. Maybe it's time you do too." Tyki was too close and Lavi backed away. Maybe that was one of the reasons they had broken up--personal space issues--but the steady gaze on him reminded Lavi of the other. Tyki was…possessive, almost to the point of being a control freak. He always acted like he knew better than Lavi, as if he were just some child who didn't understand the concept of rational, individual thought. Lavi looked away from those golden eyes; they had always made him uncomfortable. And although Tyki was handsome with his tan skin and dark hair and somewhat exotic accent, none of that came close to who was waiting at home for him.

"Thanks for the advice, Tyki, but I can't move on," Lavi said, smiling as pleasantly as he could, "because he's finally come back. He didn't move on and neither did I, so that has to mean something." The other man looked completely shocked at this bit of news, and Lavi took that momrny to escape being cornered by him, picking up a DVD on his way by.

"Oh, he'll love this too. It's a personal favorite," Lavi said, looking at the cover as he headed toward the counter to check out. "Nice seeing you again, Tyki."

"The pleasure was all mine," was the somewhat angry reply. But the poison didn't follow Lavi as he walked out into the rain again, because the tinkling of the little bell above the shop window made him smile and he was on his way home to Allen.

**pqpq**

The rain got worse again before he could arrive home, so Lavi ended up seeking shelter again in a small Chinese restaurant near his apartment. He had eaten there a few times and grabbed lunches to go.

"Hope you still like lo-mein and General Tsao's," Lavi murmured to himself as he fiddled in his jeans pocket for the key to his apartment, doing a strange balancing act to keep everything from falling. He pushed the door open and stepped inside, shaking rain off himself.

"Allen, I'm home," he announced, smiling all the while. It felt good to say it, knowing someone else was there. Although when he didn't receive any reply, his smile faltered a little.

"_Maybe he's in the bath,_" Lavi thought, putting their lunch on the counter and the DVD he rented on the coffee table.

"Hey, Allen?" Lavi called, finding the bathroom empty. He couldn't help the little flicker of panic that bloomed inside him. Certainly Allen hadn't…left?

"I got some lunch," Lavi said, trying to calm his racing heart. "And a movie…" His bedroom was the last door in the hallway. If Allen wasn't behind it then…Lavi swallowed, gripping his chest, hoping beyond all hope that Allen hadn't gone… "Allen…?" The door opened, revealing his room and Lavi stared at the amount of trash that covered the floor. There were papers everywhere: envelopes, half opened letters, some letters spread open, pages turning the carpet white. Lavi gripped the door frame, jaw clenched. He didn't know how he felt, knowing that Allen had read them, the letters that he could never send…

There was one at his feet:

_Dear Allen,_

_I know you don't read these, because I just stopped sending them. I don't know how to describe it, but I'll try. It's like when you really care about something, but the more you care, the more it hurts. And it hurts so bad that it just weakens your entire being to the point where you can barely move or breathe or live anymore. It's like being empty and never thinking you'll be full again. Sorry for the angst, but that's the only way I can describe it. And the reason I never sent this is because maybe my hand was just too tired to write your name on this envelope again, and to write mine again, and to put a stamp on it again, and to send it again, just to get no answer again. It just hurts so damn much, you know. My hand's just too tired and I know that even if it wasn't, walking to the mailbox each day to find it empty would be enough to make me that way. _

_I'm exhausted, really I am, but even so, I'm still clinging, still hoping, still waiting for you…_

_With all the love in my heart and tired soul,_

_Lavi_

And then another:

_Dear Allen,_

_It's Christmas time again. Wherever you may be and whomever you are with, I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas. And I was going to send you a gift, the biggest gift that I've been trying to get to you for years now, but I couldn't figure out the postage to send my heart to you. I've been sending little pieces of it, but I want to send you the whole thing, all in one great big package so you know I'm still here and still waiting and still in love with you. But some friends of mine laughed at me when I told them about it. "Why would you want to send him something broken?" they asked. It's not broken, just fragile, like that one ornament that Mana hung on your tree every year; the one he said that it was so delicate even breathing on it wrong could break it. That's what it's like. Not broken at all, just getting tired of holding itself together. But it's still holding on, still keeping itself in tact. It's still whole, and it's all yours._

_All my love to you and Mana,_

_Lavi_

He stepped over them, ashamed at seeing the words he had written so blankly staring him in the face. They were all like that, upright, having been opened and read. Some looked smeared in places, the words slightly blurred. Had Lavi been crying when he wrote them or had Allen been crying when he read them? Lavi kicked a letter aside, angry at himself. Had all of this chased Allen away? Now Lavi felt like crying, his chest hurting so much he thought he might die right there. He had been so close, let Allen just slip right through his fingers… But then a voice began reading:

"_You'll always be…that one person I'll always love. You are the person who brought me fullness, light, love, everything good in this world. When you're gone, it's like my world is dark, bleak, empty. I miss you and I want you to come home. Even if you don't consider this your home anymore I want you to know that my arms will always be open for you and that I'll always be there for you. Because my heart belongs to you and only you. Love, Lavi_."

Lavi walked around the bed to find Allen curled up on the floor on the other side, reading one of the many letters around him. The silver-haired boy looked up at him, eyes overflowing with tears.

"Lavi…I'm so sorry…"

"Hey, don't cry…" The redhead had his arms around Allen in no time, kneeling next to him, rubbing his back. With his free hand he was gathering up the letters and shoving them back into the boxes; Lavi didn't want to look at them anymore.

"I…can't help it…you…you…" Allen was trying to answer, but his words were as uneven as his breaths, the result of him crying too much.

"Shh, it's okay," Lavi said, still rubbing Allen's back. "Stop crying, though. You'll make yourself sick." Allen attempted to calm down, his sobs softening after a few moments, turning into hiccups.

"S-Sorry for that…" he said quietly, not moving from Lavi's chest, still clinging to him like the world might end if he let go.

"It's okay, it's my fault," Lavi replied, kissing the top of Allen's head as he continued to shove nearby letters and envelopes back into the box nearest him. "I should have…destroyed these a long time ago…I'm sorry I upset you."

"Stop that, Lavi. Just…stop," said Allen, his voice soft but forceful enough to make Lavi stop his motions. "Don't…say you're sorry. This is all _my_ fault; you have nothing…to be sorry for."

"Allen…none of this is your fault," Lavi said, stroking Allen's hair. "What happened to you _wasn't your fault._"

"B-But you…these letters…God, Lavi…you _waited_ so long…_I'm_ sorry…" Allen was crying again and Lavi tilted his chin up so he could look the other boy in the eyes. It was heartbreaking how sad Allen looked, the way his eyes were fatigued with despair. The tears that spilled from his eyes over dark lashes slid down his pale cheeks, into the groove that marred the left side of his beautiful face. Lavi wiped them away with calloused thumbs.

"Don't say you're sorry. It's not your fault," he said again, kissing Allen's forehead. "Sure, I waited, and I was lonely. But don't think about what's happened. Just be glad that we got our second chance, hm?"

Allen's lips tilted up in a small smile and he nodded, wiping at his eyes.

"You're all wet," Allen said, looking at Lavi's t-shirt which was still in his steady grip.

"It's raining," Lavi answered, smiling unworried. "But never mind that. I picked up lunch and a movie. Just recently they made Sweeney Todd into a film. I thought we'd get a kick out of it."

As he stood up, Lavi helped Allen to his feet in one swift movement. He was going to continue going on about the movie, but saw Allen's face—the way his expression changed when his eyes fell across the letters strewn about on the floor—and so he did the one thing he remembered doing a lot to Allen back in high school when he was spacing out: Lavi flicked his forehead.

"O-Ow! What was that for?" Allen asked, rubbing the offended spot.

"We're being happy, remember? No long faces from you," Lavi said, poking Allen in the chest. "None. We're gonna eat our Chinese food and watch a gory musical and like it, are we clear?"

But the contemplative face was back, only this time it was a little stronger than before and Lavi doubted a smile and a joke would help it.

"Lavi…" Allen said. The redhead's eyes flickered downwards for a moment when he saw Allen touching his left arm almost subconsciously, rubbing the elbow a little but.

"What's wrong?" Lavi asked, his tone turning concerned as he stepped closer, putting his hand on Allen's arm gently. "Does it hurt?"

Allen's face increased in color and he shifted a little, almost uncomfortably under Lavi's palm.

"N-No, I just…" Allen looked away and down again. Lavi didn't move his hand from Allen's arm, knowing that maybe he should, to give the other boy some space, but also being selfish and not wanting to let go just yet; not wanting to feel that empty solitary ever again.

"Just what?" Lavi asked, gently rubbing Allen's upper arm.

"Do you…want me?" It seemed like it took a while, but Allen managed to get those words out. He still looked a little embarrassed, but Lavi smiled and put his arms around Allen in a comfortable embrace.

"Of course I want you," Lavi answered. "Didn't we kind of establish that all ready?"

"No, I mean…" Allen looked up at him, cheeks a lovely pink. "Do you…_want_ me?"

Lavi felt himself turn a little red as well. Suddenly the room seemed smaller and somewhat warmer, the bed next to them began looking all too inviting, but also intimidating. Lavi was then all too aware of how close they were and how warm Allen was under his hands and the scent that haunted his dreams which he could discern even through the smell of his own soap and shampoo…

"W-Well of course I do!" Lavi said, almost defensively, face probably as red as his hair by now.

"Well…then why…" Allen was flushed too as he took a seat on the edge of the bed. His fingers were tugging at the cuff of the sleeved shirt he wore.

"Why what?" Lavi asked, a little bit of trepidation in his voice. When they had…well, the last time they had been together it wasn't something that they _thought_ about before doing. They just _did_. Now they weren't fueled by that spontaneity and the awkwardness and nervousness came into play, just like they were teens discussing "it" for the first time.

"Why…w-why haven't you wanted to…you know…?" Allen asked, wringing his hands now.

"W-Well, I mean…I do—I really do—want to, a lot and, uh, wow that sounded bad…" Lavi said, scratching the back of his neck, embarrassed.

"It's…my arm, isn't it?" Allen asked, voice quiet.

"What? No," Lavi said, shaking his head as he placed his hand on top of Allen's left. "That's not it. It's just…"

"It's just what?" Allen asked, looking up at him with those gray eyes that stopped Lavi in his tracks every time. "If…if that's the reason, it's okay. I know…I know it's…ugly and hard to look at."

"That's not it at all," Lavi said, taking Allen's hand into his. "It's…it's just been a while, you know. Well, for me anyway…"

"Lavi, the anatomy hasn't changed. It can't be that hard," Allen said. Lavi blinked. Once, twice, then he lost it and flopped backwards on the bed laughing, Allen following him not long after.

"N-No, that's not it," Lavi said, in between breaths as he got better control on himself. "Don't worry; I still know where everything goes."

That made Allen blush profusely.

"W-Well what is it then?!" Allen asked, playfully punching Lavi in the chest.

Lavi felt his smile falter a little, his gaze dropping to the dark colors on the bedspread, tracing imaginary patterns with his finger.

"I guess…I just don't want to rush things," Lavi answered. "I don't…want to chase you away. I haven't held on this long just to do something wrong and then have you…leave."

"Lavi…" Allen said, making Lavi look up when he felt a gentle hand resting on his cheek. "I'm not leaving any time soon, I promise. I'm _real_ and I'm _staying_."

Lavi felt himself smiling even though his eyes were hot at the same time. Trust Allen to knock down both of his biggest fears in a few simple sentences. It was all the years of wanting him to come back so badly and all the years being alone that made Lavi believe it, but moreso the sound of such honest sincerity in Allen's voice and the way his eyes could only tell the truth.

"Thank you," said Lavi quietly, slipping his arm around Allen to pull him closer, their lips meeting in a gentle kiss that melted into something all-together much more than that. Tongues danced together, not seeking dominance over the other, but rather reacquainting themselves with the territory once again.

"Lavi…" Allen sighed when they parted, eyes half-lidded, lips redder than before. The sight was so tempting and Allen was clinging to him so sweetly…Lavi kissed his lips again before moving to Allen's jaw, down his throat, fingers unbuttoning the other boy's shirt as his lips trailed downwards. He smirked when he felt the other boy tremble slightly, nibbling gently at Allen's collarbone. "Mm…Lavi…"

"Mn?" Allen's fingers were in his hair, his body arching against Lavi's. It was obvious what they both wanted, and Lavi didn't know if he'd be able to deny that feeling any longer. "Allen…" Lavi stopped what he was doing, enough so that he kept lips, tongue, and hands to himself, but was still positioned over the other boy. "Do you…" Lavi was red again, he was sure.

"Yes…" Allen breathed, sitting up slightly so that he could kiss Lavi again. He began shrugging out of his shirt. "So much…"

Lavi's hands went to helping Allen rid himself of that piece of clothing, gently letting it slide off his shoulders, off and down. Although the other boy appeared uncomfortable with having his injured limb shown like that, Lavi was determined to put his fears to rest. Pushing Allen back down on the bed, Lavi took Allen's hand in his and brought it to his lips for a gentle kiss.

"L-Lavi…you don't…" Allen murmured, his cheeks flushed as Lavi continued to kiss the burned appendage. He brought his lips over every inch, taking care to get each knuckle, every joint, the inside of his palm and wrist, everywhere, steadily moving his way up Allen's arm towards the elbow.

"But I am," he said, knowing what Allen was going to say. Going to say that he didn't have to, that it was ugly and he shouldn't have to kiss such a repulsive thing. But to Lavi, it was a part of Allen, no matter how damaged, and he was going to love every bit of him, regardless. It didn't disgust him at all. It was the hand of the love of his life, and although it looked and felt a little strange, it wasn't gross and Lavi did not despise it. He wanted Allen to know that, wondering if the tender way he kissed every piece of red skin was enough to convey these emotions without the use of words. But he thought he'd verbalize it just in case: "I love you. Every part of you."

Lavi's lips were separated from Allen's upper arm when the other boy pulled him up for an almost bruising kiss. Both of Allen's hands were holding Lavi, keeping their lips together for so long that when they came up for air, the two of them were panting. Lavi's hands were then moving of their own accord, following a path that he had followed in his dreams, traced from the pattern of a memory he had clung to for three years.

(**Shameless smut starts here**)

Allen's trousers were off quickly, Lavi's mouth moving down his chest to stomach to the area just around the navel, which he exploited mercilessly with his tongue. He fully enjoyed the way Allen's body arched into him, the sounds of his breathy little moans, how his hands were clenching in his red hair…

"L-Lavi…!" Allen groaned when Lavi's hand wrapped around his erection. Lavi started a gentle, slow stroke, committing the feel to memory, deliberately using an unhurried pace to see what Allen liked the most and then employing these methods to make his experience better. Allen liked it when Lavi ran his thumb lightly over the engorged vein on the side or when he would swirl it around the head. He really liked it when Lavi would lean over and lap up the precome from the tip, teasing the slit with his tongue. It made him all the more hot and horny to see Allen's upper half writhing under his ministrations mingled in with low, keening cries. He was so beautiful; even more beautiful in person and out of memories or fantasy.

"Hmm? D'you like this?" Lavi asked, deliberately humming while his lips were pressed against the head of Allen's cock before he ran his tongue down the shaft on the top and then back up from the underside, making Allen all but thrash on the bed. "Want more?"

"Y-Yes!" Allen whimpered, and Lavi could see and feel the muscles in Allen's body tensing with anticipation.

Lavi happily obliged, taking Allen into his mouth again. He didn't get very far before Allen was crying out suddenly and cumming long and hard down his throat. Lavi choked slightly, but managed to swallow almost all that Allen gave him, licking the softening piece of flesh clean a few times when the other boy was through.

"You okay?" Lavi asked, smirking a little in satisfaction when Allen's hazy gray eyes met his. He was still shaking from the force of his orgasm, his flushed skin damp with perspiration. Allen could only nod weakly and Lavi took his good time kissing his way back up his body. "Feel good?" The only answer to that question was Allen letting out a content breath.

Lavi settled next to Allen, idly kissing his warm flesh while the other boy regained control over himself. He didn't want to rush Allen, as he remembered he did all those years ago (although neither of them really seemed to mind) and Lavi was perfectly content to wait until Allen was ready to continue. _If _he wanted to, Lavi reminded himself, fine with maybe having to finish solo this time, just so glad that Allen was back with him again.

"Lavi…" Allen murmured, looking up at the redhead through dark lashes. Lavi liked seeing those eyes so sated and happy, not as lonely and sad as they had been, glassy with tears.

"Hmm?" Lavi asked, smiling as he brushed Allen's damp fringe from his forehead.

"I…" Allen's voice was so quiet it could have been a whisper, his head bowing slightly, leaning forward to kiss Lavi's throat and shoulder. Lavi smirked at the feel of Allen's hand tugging insistently on his shirt.

"You…?" Lavi prompted, stretching his neck so that Allen had better access.

"You…" Allen continued, breath ghosting across Lavi's flesh pleasantly, making him shiver a little.

"Me…?" Lavi asked, teasing tone to his voice. He groaned when Allen gripped him through his pants and gave him a squeeze.

"…want you…" Allen growled out, hands moving under Lavi's shirt, making the redhead tremble.

"Then take me," Lavi said, pulling Allen on top of him and then down for another kiss. When they parted he had his shirt off within seconds and was urging Allen to touch him however he wanted. And Allen took advantage of this, making Lavi moan and gasp in pleasure. So many nights he had entertained fantasies of this kind, the feel of Allen's skin, lips, fingertips against him again…But having the real thing was much better than dreaming; much better than the vague recollections of the actual act three years ago, as the physical feelings had been mostly dampened by the emotional ones.

"Allen…" Lavi groaned, when the silver-haired boy bent over to give attention to his erection. Allen's mouth was heavenly hot and his tongue was just as erotic, swirling quickly around his length. Lavi's fingers clenched gently in Allen's hair, begging him to go on, but Allen moved off him, earning a disappointed whimper from Lavi.

"Lavi, I…want you," Allen said, straddling Lavi's hips so that their erections were touching, leaning over to kiss Lavi's lips, then jaw, and throat again.

"Want you, too," Lavi's eyes fluttered closed, but he sat up, propping himself up against the pillows and headboard, wrapping his arms around Allen.

"Please…" Allen murmured, lips brushing against Lavi's as his hand gently stroked the redhead's slick cock, moving it under him.

"W-Wai—mmn!" Lavi couldn't get his warning out fast enough, biting his lower lip when Allen sat down on him. Although he was slick enough, Lavi hadn't prepared Allen for it, which led to the tightest heat imaginable on Lavi's end, but most likely discomfort on Allen's. Sure enough, Allen was trembling, clutching Lavi's shoulders in pure anguish, probably the only reason the redhead didn't cum on the spot.

"Oh, Allen, you should have let me get you ready first…" Lavi said, kissing Allen's cheek that was already slightly damp with tears. Gently Lavi stroked Allen's cock that had gone limp from the pain, hoping to distract him while he got used to the intrusion. "Sorry, babe…" Lavi kissed Allen's collarbone in apology, resting his free hand on Allen's trembling thigh. "We can stop if you need to."

"N-No…I'm okay…" Allen answered, his voice hoarse as he shook his head slowly on Lavi's shoulder, breaths a little uneven. "I just…need a minute…"

Lavi rubbed Allen's back encouragingly, kissing him whenever the other boy's breath would hitch in pain as he attempted to move. He also continued fondling Allen's cock in the hopes that he could arouse him again. All of this must have helped, because eventually Allen was able to move, slowly at first, but then developing a better, faster rhythm.

"Ah, ah, ah…La-vi…!" Allen gasped out as he bounced up and down on Lavi's erection, his face so beautiful in flushed determination for completion. Lavi's hands rested on Allen's hips, giving him the leverage he needed to easily keep his pace. Soon, Allen's hands were no longer gripping Lavi's shoulders, but the rail on the headboard as the pace increased to its fastest yet. Lavi was glad his neighbors were all out at work because the both of them were moaning without restraint and the bed was slamming into the wall loudly.

"Nn…Allen…m'close…" Lavi panted out in between breaths, all of it just too hot and fast and so _right_. He gripped Allen's hips, bit down on his shoulder, and came to a shuddering climax all within a few seconds of giving his warning. In response to that, Allen went rigid in his lap and came with a keening cry before slumping over, exhausted, on top of Lavi.

(**Shameless smut ends here**)

"That was…amazing…" Allen breathed against Lavi's chest, unable to move from his position on top of the redhead. Lavi gave a tired laugh, too exhausted at the moment to reply with much else. When the two of them got enough energy to actually move again, Allen settled on his side next to Lavi, who wrapped his arm comfortably around the other boy's waist. Allen rested his ear against Lavi's chest. Looking down at him, Lavi wore a dazedly happy smile, his skin still tingling where Allen had touched him during their lovemaking.

"Agreed. Amazing doesn't even begin to cover it…" Lavi said, pulling the blankets over them. Once they were covered up, exhaustion catching up with them, Lavi placed a gentle kiss to Allen's forehead and cheek, over the scar on the left side of his face before closing his eyes, ready for a long rest. A few moments passed in comfortable silence before Lavi felt Allen stir against him.

"I…didn't tell you…that I love you, too," he said quietly, breath rolling over Lavi's skin like a pleasant wave.

"You didn't have to," Lavi answered, smiling as he kissed the top of Allen's head, burying his nose in snow-white strands.

"But…you…all the letters…'Love, Lavi'. Always," Allen said, his words not quite coherent in such a choppy sentence structure. "And you said it and I…I didn't…"

"You could…always say it now if you wanted," Lavi said, twining their fingers together. "Or you don't have to say anything at all."

Allen met his eyes and cupped his cheek as he kissed him.

"I don't have to, but I _want_ to. And I am," Allen said, using almost the same words Lavi had used before when referring to Allen's arm. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Allen," Lavi said, kissing him back.

Allen's trembling arms wound around his neck and they were clinging to each other in sweet reunion. The rain pattering on the roof was far-away and soothing, the letters that littered the floor singing almost softly with the love that Lavi refused to let die over the years of waiting. Suddenly, Lavi felt like no time had passed between them at all and that they were back to being two just-graduated high school seniors that had found love in the back of an auditorium.

**pqpq**

So…much…fail…I'm so sorry everyone.

I had set up this chapter so that there could be one more after this one, but I doubt I'm going to do that now, because this is just so much suck to me right now. I know I'm my own worst critic, but…ehhh…

Be nice and leave a review with your thoughts? Perhaps I'm just being my usual self…tell me if you'd like that next chapter as well. Thanks, and if this is the last chapter, I appreciate everyone's comments, favorites, and alerts. You guys are great.

**Dhampir72**

**Credit to**...: There is a letter in this story that I borrowed from a great internet site called asofterworld. It's the Christmas letter, and I think the original quote is "I tried to figure out the postage to send you my heart for Christmas. But I didn't, because my friends asked "Why would you send her something broken?" No matter how cliche it might sound, the first time I saw that, I nearly cried -weak-


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